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17th 2018Last night was uncool. As I have mentioned before, I am now subject to periods of madness which I lovingly refer to as reality being bendy. Last night I awoke in a state of full blown terror and internal reality was absolutely bendy. Back in the day, I’ve done things they say make LSD look like bathwater in comparison and last night it was full speed ahead welcome to hell.Normally, I have for lack of a better words an anchor. I know which way is up so to speak. Not this time, I was drowning. None of my normal tricks like telling myself this is just a trip was working. I was losing my grip. I was scared I was going to start doing crazy shit like running in traffic or killing goblins disguised as my family members in the real world. I was free falling in the madness.As I’ve mentioned, I’ve practiced various forms of Magick throughout my life. Since my illness, I have leaned heavily into the myth and culture of my Ancestors. I’ve also restarted some of my magickal practices. It. Now work on your paper. I’m not going to talk while I’m making dinner.”Dinner was great. She cooked pork chops with braised red cabbage and fennel. Until my few dates with Melody and time at Lissa’s house the past couple of weeks, I’d eaten about every meal since September in the college cafeteria. This was absolutely nothing like it. She served me half a glass of cold chardonnay to have with the meal, but told me I couldn’t have any more until I’d finished my presentation.That was another surprise. Aside from glancing up to see Lissa’s graceful form beneath the robe moving about the kitchen, I felt less distracted from getting my work done than anywhere at school. I knew most of the material, though I had to look up which grades of cotton duck were no longer in use before I figured out why there were only nine instead of thirteen. Lissa had given me the password for her WiFi and it was actually faster than what I had at school.Each student was assigned an artists’ material. We would.
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